I'm bound!

I just received the final bound copies of my thesis. Graduate school is officially over!

ah, standards

I wrote a few weeks ago about how I was so excited that my standards were done. Well, three weeks later, I still do not have working standards. There have been hurdles at every station and I have ran into all of them. Trying to do something new is hard! (As I think I mentioned earlier, I'm working with slightly polar compounds while the rest of my lab is working on purely non-polar compounds).

Had midterms last week. They ate up the entire week, but I walked into the weekend feeling good. It was a torturous week. But a week well spent.

This week is technically break so I'm taking the time to catch up on research. Standards are driving me crazy, but I'll figure them out one day. Hopefully soon.

My sister is coming up next weekend to help me move and I'm pretty excited. I haven't seen her since x-mas and we're not great on the phone. Spring is a time of birthdays and holidays so hopefully there will be more family in my near future.

Lecture at Brown

I went to a fascinating lecture at Brown tonight by Arlene Blum , a woman who truly inspired me. She has led an influential life in science and policy related to flame retardants and she has also led an exciting life as a mountaineer. One of the reasons I fled from science after college was the fact that it was so limiting. Meeting a woman like Arlene makes me smile because it means that although I spend way too much time in the lab, it doesn't mean I have to have a boring life.

Graduate School

In a moment of utter procrastination tonight, I started reading about what I was doing today 3 and 4 years ago when I lived in Japan. It struck me how boring my life has become. When I lived in Japan, and wrote that blog, I felt that life was ordinary, but now, 4 years removed, I see that it wasn't.

Life now feels ordinary as well. I am a graduate student at the Graduate School of Oceanography at URI and I study passive samplers as a new technology to measure organic pollutants. I also take a whole lot of intro classes that eat up every last drop of would-be free time. I work ridiculously long hours and most weekends. I am a busy-bee, but I think I may start up this blog again. The title is a bit odd, but I'm going to run with it.

Today was an exciting day in my research. I finished making my first set of standards to run on the GC/MS (Gas Chromatographer/ Mass Spectrometer) with which I will compare everything I find out in the real world to. Each of my standards A-F have about 15 different compounds in them which are at different concentrations in order to make a "standard curve", or more accurately stated, a nice straight line. I was so excited to have them all made, but when I ran them on the GC/MS, they all seemed to ellute at the same time. Boo. More tweaking and fiddling around will have to be done before I can really start experimenting.

I've been going to Boston every weekend for the past month now. It's about an hour away and I have one friend from every stage of my life there: High School, College, Japan, and California. This past weekend I took my very first Flamenco class with my friend Sarah from the Japan days. It was very stompy, but enjoyable. It made me realize how much I miss tap. Maybe I'll find tap again one day. Sunday was spent at yoga and in the lab till 10pm. I caught up on all of my podcasts while blowing on a little vial watching liquid evaporate for 4 hours. Ah, research.

I should probably change the name of my blog...

I have been terrible about blogging these past few months. Now that I no longer live in Japan, it seems silly to keep a blog, but I suppose I don't lead a very "normal" life and should keep it up until I do (if I ever do).

I haven't written in almost 3 months and I haven't been sitting around doing nothing. I started working at the library in my hometown shortly after getting back to the US. It's a mindless simple job, but it's nice to be around books all day and it pays for my health insurance so it's necessary.

It was great to be home for the buildup to the holidays and then the holiday season and I really got into the Christmas spirit this year and enjoyed time with my family. I decorated the house, baked lots of cookies, and made presents for my friends and family. Everyone came back to Port Washington for the holidays and for a few days it was almost like high school with all the things to do at night!

On January 2nd, I left the country again for a month, this time on a free Taglit Birthright program to Israel. For 2 weeks I was with 40 other amazing people seeing amazing sights completely for free! When the 2 weeks were over, it only cost $50 to extend the free plane ticket so I jumped on the opportunity and extended for 2 more weeks. With 4 other guys from my trip, I travelled around Israel and eventually over to Petra in Jordan. It was an amazing emotional and spiritual journey and I plan to write more about it when I find a minute next week.

My next plan is that I'm moving to California. 3 of my High School friends and 2 of my JET friends live in the Bay Area and I'm going to just go and figure it out from there. Ato was a very humbling experience being so alone, and NY is surprisingly lonely as well. I think I'm ready to be around my friends for a while. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but sitting at a shabbat table in Tsfat everything just came clear to me. I have nothing going for me here that I can't find there and now is the time to do it. I am teaching one more origami class at my mom's library on March 6th, but March 7th, I'm taking my car and heading west. I'm hoping my sister will join me for the journey, but it is possible I will be driving alone. The plan is to take I-70 to Denver and then hop on up to I-80 for the rest of the trip. If anyone has any friends/family/places for me to crash somewhere along these roads, please let me know as I'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible. I'm hoping to find a teaching job for next fall out west but who knows where the wind will blow me.

There is one other thing that is emerging in my life and that is a possible relationship. I met him when I went to CA in October and we had an amazing "Before Sunrise"-like day together. He is nothing like anyone else I've ever dated, but right from the start we had great chemistry and talked and talked all day. I didn't know if I would ever see him again after I left the west, but he came back to NY to see his parents in December and we met up for a super-chaperoned 2nd date (with 3 of my friends and 3 of his). Sitting at that table in Tsfat I realized that it doesn't happen all the time that I really like someone and he really likes me and I'm free right now to do anything or go anywhere, so why not? I'm not moving to CA only to be with him, but I would like to give what we have a chance. If it doesn't work, it's not a total loss- I'll still have the rest of my life to figure it out from there. Many people look at life from beginning to end with goals set out and many expectations. I like to take it from step to step, not thinking too far in the future, enjoying every day I have. I am extremely excited about starting my next step.

My Life Post-JET

I have been terrible about updating my blog and I appologize. One part of me feels like my life is boring to all your people out there in Japan and around the world and just normal to all you people in America so I shouldn't bother writing, but I do want to show you a little bit of what I've been doing, so here I am.
After I left Ato, I went up to Hokkaido for 2 weeks. First I saw Tom off with some other's from Yamaguchi and then headed down to Hakodate where I hung out with my buddy Dave for a bit. I returned to the states on August 12th and have had a whirlwind of a time since then. I reaquainted myself with Port Washington, my hometown, and NYC, my second home. I then went to Minneapolis with my friend Marco for a few days and after that, went sailing with my Uncle Bill for 2 weeks. I was home for a week after sailing before taking off again, this time to Northern California for another 2 weeks. When I wasn't travelling, I've been working at the library in town, babysitting a bunch, and just trying to get my life and my apartment in order. I work a little every day and if all goes according to plan, I will know what I'm going to do in February. Until then, I'm going to stay around town for the holidays, then ship off to Israel for 2 weeks in January, and then be back for Jacob's bar-mitzvah in February. So that's it, in a nutshell.
Please take some time to look at my pictures if you're intersted. I'd love to hear what you think of them :) Just click the link titled "Pictures" at the right hand side of the screen.
I hope all my readers are alive and well and enjoying the fall (or the spring if you're down under)

Reverse Culture Shock Part I - Wednesday

I have been home now for about a week and since I am still mildly jetlagged it isn’t difficult for me to wake up at 6 and go running. During this time, the reverse culture shock becomes very clear to me.

Today I left home at 6:40 and over the course of an hour ran into about 15 different people out running or walking their dogs. Being an Ato girl, I said “Good Morning” to every single one and only about 4 said hello back. THAT IS SICK! What is wrong with everyone? This isn’t such a big, anonymous place!

Let me explain my hometown first: Port Washington is a quiet suburban peninsula on the north shore of Long Island. You can walk to the water from any street in town and there you see it speckled with sailboats and other recreational boats. When I was a child, Port had a population of about 30,000 and had a real small town feel, but now but now it feels much more crowded.

Since I started running I have realized how small this town really is; It doesn’t take me more than 20 min to run to the other side of town where my old house used to be and it would probably only take me 50 to run to the highway. Yet everyone zips around town in these huge suv’s to go nowhere! Yes, some drive to work in the city, but 80% of them drive to a parking lot near the train station and take the train in. No adults use bicycles except for exercise and you don’t see many of those at that. This, I now find ridiculous. My mom asked me yesterday if I’d like her car today and I realize that I absolutely do not need it. Today I plan on doing some errands around town, maybe going to the library, checking out the new yoga place, etc. but none of it will take me more than 30 min to walk to and it’s a beautiful day! Why rush? True, I don’t have a job right now and other people may not have 30 min to walk to the new yoga place, but it is ridiculous that they can’t wake up 10 min earlier and not walk to the train station.

I feel somewhat hypocritical saying these things about the people here because it’s the way I grew up. These people are just the newer, richer, versions of MY parents bringing up their kids the way my mom and dad envisioned bringing me and my sister up. I love my mom dearly and always thought of us as very similar, but this is one aspect that I cannot comprehend. I hate suburbia. The trees are fake, the people are fake, EVERYTHING is fake. True, it is beautiful when you go down to the water and look out at the boats, but there is barely a strip of beach that isn’t “owned” and barely anywhere you can go and be alone outside.

travellin'

I am travelling at the moment around southern/central Hokkaido and thus am sort of MIA. If you need to reach me, I still have my keitai and I have some internet access. Hope everyone is having a great end of summer!

pictures

I put up some recent pics. If you want to see them, click on the link on the right....

bulletin board

I have just spent the ENTIRE morning making this bulletin board:

Seems kind of crazy that I spent 3 hours on it, but I'm pretty proud of how it turned out. To you other jets who make bulletin boards, how long do they normally take you? This was the fastest I've ever made one :)

Now I'm anxiously waiting for lunch and ready for an afternoon of japanese speech writing. Goto sensei would be proud (my college Japanese teacher).

I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Got to school to find out my pool lesson was cancelled due to rain and as not-excited as I was about the lesson, I found myself kind of disappointed it was cancelled. I'm trying to work it out to schedule it for next time which will be my last time at that school.

The day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Ikumo elementary school is always nice and since Wednesdays, Kane has a half day, the BOE usually does some sort of activity in the afternoon for the kids and they asked me to come help teach origami this week. Kane is hands down my favorite elementary school. Last year it was a toss up between Kane and Kameyama, but Kameyama is gone (RIP) now so Kane wins. The origami workshop was fun. I taught an 1 nensei how to make a crane and it was amazing how easily she did it. I have taught cranes to 6th graders in America who have trouble with it. I guess if you start early it just makes sense kinda like how it always did for me. I also won the respect of the 4th graders when I helped them out making a difficult astronaut. Before the program, the kids all do their homework and I found out that I have a 3rd graders reading level when it comes to kanji....not too shabby for not having studied in 2 years!

Now I'm off to shuji and I'm turning off my phone and ditching eikaiwa. I know this sounds terrible, but she cancels on me EVERY WEEK at the last minute and I just don't' want to deal if this week she is miraculously home. I haven't seen her in 2 months and I don't really want to start lessons up again with 4 weeks to go. I'd rather make ooblek with my 4 year old eikaiwa like I did yesterday :P

Now that hump day is over essentially, I'm not dreading this week like I was yesterday and this morning. It'll be over in the blink of an eye (that is if tomorrow's long day at jr. high with no classes goes alright).

endless week

June, the month with no holidays, flew by this year but now that we have reached July, things are crawling. This week feels endless. Maybe when today is over, things will be better (it being hump day and all), but tomorrow I have a whole day of sitting at school with no classes and I only have 2 on Friday so I don't think so.

Last week at Kane Elementary school I convinced them to let me do English in the pool. We played a few English games and a few "western" pool games like Marco Polo and Sharks and Fishies. It was awesome. Everyone, including me, had a great time! So.....I went back and asked Ikumo to let me do the same thing. This day is today and it's kinda gross looking out and I'm not in the mood anymore. Plus, unlike kane where we did one regular class and then two hours of pool, Ikumo scheduled me to teach 2nd period in the pool with 5th and 6th graders and then 3rd and 4th periods have regular classes. I don't know how they expect me to do a whole pool lesson in only one period and then dry off, get changed and teach two more classes in 10 minutes. Sigh. Can you tell I'm not in the mood for this week.

AND I start my "last days" at Elementary school NEXT WEEK! I need to get on these speeches!

AND I finished my book and it was amazing. It's so hard to start a new book when you really really loved the last one.

Okay, I'll stop complaining and go get dressed for work.

getting it all done

I am so on top of my game right now. Sure, my house is slightly a wreck, and I didn't do much besides sitting on my dining room floor surrounded by papers all weekend, but I am really feeling better about myself and my 10 million lists in every pocket and bag I own.

This weekend I succeeded in cleaning out the cabinet where I keep all my papers, pictures and postcards. I also packed two boxes and sent them off today by boat (I would have packed one but the size limit is ridiculously small for America for some reason). I also paid for my plane ticket today. Now I just need to wait for the exchange rate to go down again so I can close out my bank account and then I’m basically done! Working all weekend long with two big breaks, one to go to Hofu to see a movie and one to go to Hagi to wear kimono and walk around a museum, I succeeded in what I didn’t even set out to do yet. I swear, it just happened!

I think I'm going to take a week or two off before doing any more finishing stuff. I　need to sit down now and write some goodbye speeches and letters in Japanese which is actually much harder than packing up my origami books . Oh well, still feeling good and ready for another rainy week.

Wonderful weekends

Had an absolutely brilliant weekend. Friday I came home from taiko to a house full of Ginny where we drank tea and went to bed early. Saturday morning we woke up late, drove over to Tsuwano to pick up Sam and go climb a mountain. The clouds broke on Saturday for a hot sunny summer day and our hike couldn’t have been better. Afterwards we drove 10 minutes to a quiet spot where we took off our shoes and jumped into a crystal clear mountain river to cool off and play. We ambled on home where we dried off and prepared for a BBQ at my house. Tom arrived by the time I got out of the shower and between the four of us we got the grill started and made some salads and frozen margaritas and had a wonderful BBQ by the end of which we were grilling by candlelight. My friend Kaori, my shuji teacher’s daughter, came over around 8 and joined in the fun and I was a little worried since she doesn’t speak any English, but it was fine. She left around 11 and since it is hotaru (firefly) season in the bits of Japan with clean rivers, we set off on a long walk through the rice fields in the dark. We walked singing any song we possibly could add the world hotaru to. Greatest hits include “Give my Regards to Hotaru”, “Hotaru” (sung to the tune of sakura), “Raindrops on Hotaru”, and many others. We probably woke up all the frogs if they weren’t already awake and probably half of Tokusa. Sam left early Sunday before we woke and so the three of us spent this rainy Sunday relaxing in my house. We made pancakes for breakfast, somen for lunch, and watched rainy day movies.
Now, my house is once again clean and I am sitting at home enjoying the quiet listening to the frogs’ sing and the rain pitter-patter on my roof. I couldn’t have planned a better summer weekend among good friends. I only have a few more weekends left and am feeling sad, but I look forward to whatever the future brings as well. Marathon team- if you are reading this, thank you for many great memories this year. From the Tokusagamine marathon to the Tsuwano eki-den to Doronko beach volleyball and that tiring marathon in Shuho, it’s been fun pushing ourselves and rewarding ourselves afterwards. Thanks for coming all the way out to Ato this weekend- I had a really wonderful time and I hope you did too!

Okay, Okay, I'm back

Hello loyal readers. I'm sorry that I've been out of touch for a few weeks. The weather has been beautiful and my schedule has been full, but now that tsuyu (the rainy season) has finally decided to show it's ugly head, I'm back.
I'm having a BBQ at my house this weekend and it is going to be wet to say the least. The weather forcast says rain rain rain every day for the next 5 and who knows what the 6th will bring because nobody can predict that far in the future. (If you're interested click the ATO WEATHER link at the right)

In other news, I FINALLY bought my plane tickets....all 4 of them (that's what you get when you live in the middle of nowhere). I fly from Masuda to Tokyo and Tokyo to Sapporo on July 31st, and then on August 12th I fly from Hakodate to Tokyo and Tokyo to NYC. Attention New York people: I'll be home August 12th in the afternoon (I arrive earlier than I leave :) don't you just love the international date line!)

This change is tearing me apart and I have the dreams to prove it right now. I am very excited to get home and be with my family and friends and catch up with what's going on in NY, but at the same time I am very sad to be saying goodbye to shuji and my wonderful shuji family who have adopted me, my taiko group and playing drums in general, and of course my students and teachers. I know I will miss the solitude of my house in Tokusa dearly. I don't even know the next time I will have a place to myself to call home.

Things I am excited about going back to include: dancing, a varity of food, the ocean, cooking for people, and having friends near enough to pop over for dinner. And for the first week or so 90210 reruns with Anne in the morning :)

A few weeks ago I was on top of things with organizing and packing, but I have slacked off and have not touched a box in weeks. I really must do this. As much as I thought I could fit it all in three suitcases, I'm starting to realize that maybe I need to mail a box too. I also need to go through all my clothes and decide what I do and do not want to keep. Sigh. It's daunting thinking about all the things I need to do. The goodbye process is most likely going to take a full month and that is also daunting. It is so much easier to do it all at once and just leave, but I don't want to leave without saying goodbye to everyone properly.

I'm psyched for my Hokkaido trip with Tom, Dave and Megan and I'm psyched to see Dave again (JFK Dave). I'm looking forward to catching up again with all my people in Port Washington and spending a few good nights out in NYC too. I have exactly one month from the time I get home to unpack, organize my mom's storage room, catch up on movies, and pack before I set sail with my Uncle Bill for Florida by way of the ICW (Intercoastal Waterway). It is really nice to have at least one thing planned for post-JET....the rest will follow once I get back into future planning mode....right now I'm too deep in goodbye mood to think about it.

Ideas for next year include: going to Israel on a Birthright trip, learning guitar, going to South/Central America to learn Spanish, spending holidays with my family, and visiting Rosey, Viviana, and Sean in San Francisco. Oh, and of course make it to Jacob's bar-mitzvah on February 6th. I have job search ideas too, but to save myself from pushy people, I'm going to keep them to myself for now.

So that's what has been going on in a nutshell. Basically stressing out, but enjoying it too. Tonight Kumi-chan is coming over for dinner and I made yummy cold veggie soup. Next week Andrew is visiting. This is all in addition to my twice a week taiko practices, twice a week english conversation classes and shuji, so it's understandable that I'm so damn busy. Hope all you other leavers are doing better at packing than I am :P

earthquake

Hey Yamaguchi Jets, Did anyone else wake up this morning at 5am to the sound of rattling doors?

elect?

After lunch today I was walking around the lunchroom catching up with some students when Yohei, surrounded by a whole support group of baseball boys gets my attention by screaming my name. I go over and with wispers in his ears and giggles all around, he says "I'm elect now". Hmmmm, I KNOW what this was meant to mean, and I'm not sure where he learned that word, but I feigned non-understanding and smiled and walked away. Upon leaving the lunchroom I saw one of the baseball supporters speaking with my english teacher who was having a laugh. I wouldn't put it past him to be laughing at the way my students like to make sexual passes at me.

Funny how the sexual stuff goes in waves too. Last year my Ato-chu 9th grade boys were in love with me and it was adorable. They would come into the teachers room to smile and wave and talk about baseball but they were never as crude as THIS year's 9th grade students at my other school, Ato Higashi-chu. These boys like to look up words in the dictionary and try them out to see how red I'll get. Last week when we were cleaning the pool, one of them was frantically washing off the soapy SEX he had written on the wall. I guess all Jr. High boys are like this....maybe that's why the girls are scared to go near them. It is kind of cute when it's not directly aimed at me.

attention Yamaguchi people

If you turn on NHK news tonight at 6:35 (maybe 6:40) I will be on TV in all my muddly glory with my miracle mud volleyball team. I have eikaiwa so won't be able to see it, but if you're able to and have a minute, check it out!

still no ticket

In answer to your comment Cindi, I:ve decided to actually post on my blog, something I haven:t done in quite a long time. (You can tell by the colon instead of apostrophe that I:m at work)
So, I still have not bought my ticket back to America because I:m still trying to figure out what exactly I will be doing from the time my contract ends and when I hope to be arriving in America. I have my last Taiko concert on July 30th so I will be sticking around Ato couch surfing (or more likely being treated like a queen knowing Japanese hospitality) for a week after I move out of my house. It is going to be a traumatic concert since my taiko group is basically my life here and it will be hard to say goodbye. From there, I:m going up to Hokkaido with a few Yamaguchians. Originally, the plan was to go up for a week or two, but as things progress it looks like only a few days. I was talking to my buddy Dave yesterday, (Hakkodate Dave) and he expressed interest in flying home together. I think it would be kind of fun to start and end this whole Japan thing at JFK together so I:m considering it, but he has lots of stuff to sell in Hokkaido so he doens:t want to leave in August until the 20s. Do I want to stick around that long? But on the other hand, what exactly am I running home to? Organize my storage room? Hopefully this post will encourage my mom to call me at a time I:m home so we can discuss :)
So nothing yet. The longer I wait, the more expensive my ticket gets, but I:m not too worried.

well, I started

I told my first class of kids that I would be leaving today. It was the 3th grade class at the Jr. High that I love and I have been at this school since these kids were 1st grade students. At first I was hit with silence but as the class went on, they got braver and a few called me over and asked me why I was leaving and what I was planning on doing back in America. I don't really have a good answer for either of those questions which is a problem. Before I tell my next class, I need to come up with a better answer...

After class I played badminton with some of them and it was awesome. I haven't played badminton since High School and I forgot how much fun it is. I also found out that one of them is dating a High School student who graduated from Ato Jr. High 3 years ago! That makes him ummmmmmmm 17 or 18!!!! She said he drives a bike. Who knew that my kids are leading such risque lives!

behind

I seem to be very behind the game in everyone's preparations to leave. Not only have I not bought my plane ticket home, I haven't even decided what day or even what week I want to leave. I haven't started packing up my house (aside from the winter stuff I packed a few weeks ago) and I haven't settled my car thing. (By the way, that 35,000 yen car tax threw me for a loop! who knew!!!) I am blaming the whole thing on denial. I know I need to break it to my kids that I'm leaving, but I really can't think of a good way to do it. Any suggestions?

Vietnam Pictures

I've been busy busy busy with school and helping the ojisans plant rice so haven't had much time to write. I did manage to put my vietnam pictures online though so if you want to see, please click on the link to the right labeled PICTURES.

Ittekimasu!

I'm off this afternoon for Vietnam....well, first I'm off to Fukuoka for the night, and then we leave tomorrow morning. Plans for tonight include eating with the son of the main character in THE PIANO. He just happens to be a friend of a friend of Tom's and he also happens to live in Fukuoka.
I packed last night and managed to get to bed before 3! I have one backpack and I'm basically bringing clothes and toiletries (and of course a towel, thank you Douglas Adams). I am SOOOOOO excited. I am really in need of a refreshing holiday to be able to get back to work and I have never been to SE Asia and am very excited for a complete change of perspective having only ever traveled to 1st world countries. I hope all of you people in Japan have great Golden Week Vacations and all you back home are doing well.
See you when I get back!

guess I haven't lost it ALL!

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

ARGH

I just wasted an entire hour getting absolutely nothing accomplished. Let me explain. I noticed this morning on TV that the exchange rate today was 115 yen to the dollar and since this was the magic number I have been waiting for I decided to go to the bank on my lunch break. First I went to the post office and checked their rate. There they told me the rate was 114.45. Great! I thought, and immediately peddled off to the bank where I took out an enormous amount of cash. Back to the post office where I was told that I couldn’t send money the way I used to do it (for 400 yen) as of April 3rd when they changed the system and now the only way to do it I would have to spend 2500 yen. I said OKAY since I really wanted to send it but before filling out the form waited 20 minutes for them to first call my bank in Tokusa and then when they informed these guys that they had no idea how to do anything like that (since I am the ONLY person in Ato-cho to ever have to send money overseas), they called the Yamaguchi ginko in Yamaguchi city where they were told it costs 7000 yen for one transfer through the bank. GEEZ! That's 70 bucks to send money once. So I started filling out the form to send it and I was still relatively happy about it but then he printed out a new form and informed me that the actual rate for today was 116. Since I was eagerly waiting for my magic 115, I took back my stack of cash and retreated to the back where I redeposited it. Sigh. I don’t: know what I’m going to do if the exchange rate doesn’t come down again.
Now I’m back at the office having been to the P.O. twice, and the bank twice and I haven’t accomplished one single thing in one hour.

oooh oooh ooooooooh

I'm going to Vietnam in 7 days! Needless to say, I am starting to get very excited! I want to swim in the ocean and play in the forests and eat lots of yummy yummy food. Sooooooo excited!

hiding

I've been hiding in stories for the past few days. I am currently reading a 7 book series called the Dark Tower, and listening to a bank robbery conspiracy novel on tape. I am living a life of made up characters.

Tonight I couldn't consume too much writing because I had shuji and then eikaiwa and after listening to my book in the car on the way home, I decided to eat dinner in silence. As the night wore on I started packing a suitcase to send home and came across a CD which made me very focused for the first time in ages and I was able to pack a 27 kg suitcase filled with all the winter clothes I will be taking back, all the books I can't part with, my clarinet, and my snowboard boots. It's in the hallway now and already my life feels lighter and cleaner. I'm hoping to clean out most of my house in the next few weeks.

I'm wondering what to do with all the clothes I don't want (and there are a lot). I was considering sending them to Pakistan but was wondering if anyone more locally could use them. Does anyone a) want to go shoppping in my closet or b) know of any charities in Japan that I could give them to?

So now it's nearing 12:30 in the morning and I am exhausted, but can't seem to get up and get ready for bed. Why do I do this to myself? I'd rather just sit here for another hour avoiding taking out my contacts, than just doing it and being able to go to bed. Do other people do this as well? I've been known to stay up till all hours of the morning because I'm too tired and lazy to go get ready for bed.

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I have kamemushi (stink bugs) ALL over my house. Spring is finally here and my faulty screens are still faulty. I have decided that rather than dealing with trying to get the stink bugs out and risk them spraying foul smell all over my house, I'm just going to let them live in peace here. They don't bite (or at least they don't if they're not sitting on you) and they don't stink unless you piss them off, so I'm making friends. Soon the spiders will come back too. I wonder if I'll have frogs this year! So far, just stink bugs and moths.

I give up

I am in a very different spot mentally than I was when I first got back from my roadtrip and the thought of writing about it is daunting. I will explain BRIEFLY by just telling you where we went and listing what we did rather then talking about it. Please forgive this lame entry, but I feel I need to get it over with before moving on.
Nagasaki: peace museum and park, cute restuarants by the bay
Kagoshima: Sakurajima
Yakushima: Amazing time both on the interesting ferry ride and hiking through ancient moss covered forests. Ask me about it if you see me.
Kumamoto: Kumamoto Castle and seeing Saleem
Aso-san: largest caldera in the world
Yufuin: Nicest onsen I've been to thus far
Beppu: the Las Vegas of onsen towns....next time I'm staying at the Jurassic Park themed love hotel! Can check both mud bath and mixed bath off my list of things to do.

If you'd like to see pictures, I have put them up on my picture site (link at the right). Sorry this is a big copout. My heart just isn't in it right now.

Happy Birthday me!

Today is my 24th birthday and I was blessed with yet another rainy, dreary day. blargh. It has been raining straight since sunday night and I've had it. I'm ready for some spring already.

Taught three very successful Jr. High classes today (if I do say so myself) but I'm still feeling a bit braindead. Maybe this weekend will revive me.

My family called and woke me up this morning to say Happy Birthday. They were all sitting around the passover table and passed me around. It was very nice to be able to talk to everyone, but also very strange, I felt like that distant relative....I guess I AM that distant relative. My mom has a cold and thus is not her usual genki self which kind of threw me off.

I still have yet to write about spring break. Every time I have a mintue at the internet I'm not awake enough to sit down and really write. Maybe it will happen tomorrow... sorry.

The mood of this post is blargh. I appologize. My birthday isn't really THAT bad, I'm just tired and I have a headache.

first things first

I will get around to writing about my roadtrip around Kyushu with Ginny, but I am at school right now and have no access to my pictures so I'm going to wait.

Secondly, I'm heading out to Hiroshima this weekend and had a few questions for you bored ALTs sitting in the office on the first week of school.
-Where is a good place to park?
-Are there any good secondhand stores you know of that have a)backpacks and/or b)fun crazy stuff
-Is there one of those goth/lolita stores?
-Do you know any cute non-starbucks coffee shops?

Thanx for your help....it is much appreciated.

行ってきます！

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for a week long road trip around kyushu with Ginny. Unfortunately, Ginny is very sick with a cold right now, but she's going to ganman, and I'm going to take lots of vitamins and hopefully it will all turn out alright. We're planning on stopping in Nagasaki, Kumamoto, Kurokawa, Unzen, Kagoshima/Sakurajima, Yakushima, Beppu, and probably a few other places along the way. I'm excited to relax in some weird baths, see some cherry blossoms, and hike through some "hells". See you in a week when I'm back for camping in furusato Ato!

yesterday was odd

today is just like monday and tuesday. I am bored. I can't concentrate enough to read my non-fiction book and I'm on my 4th cup of coffee. yesterday at this time I was still on the high from the productive morning and I continued to organize, but since I've run out of things to organize I've run out of things to do (except read of course). I know, I know, I'm just being a whiny complainer, but I can't seem to do anything else.
I'm going to rent Water Boys tonight. I have been meaning to see it for almost 2 years and tonight is perfect. Anyone in the area who cares to join me is welcome- I'll make dinner :)

spring?

it has been so springy these last two weeks that I don't think I really believed the weather report when it said it would snow last night. well, it did, and I got stuck driving 2 hours in it. My neck is still sore from the struggle of trying to see the road for 2 hours. let's just say it was VERY stressful.
Woke up at 8:05 today mumbing about how much I hated myself and once again missed my chance for a shower. I am bathing right after work today. Now I'm sitting at the BOE like I've been doing every day this week trying to pass the time. In the span of monday and tuesday I've: cleaned out a cabinet for supplies, organized my desk, colored some pictures of mother father, etc. and laminated them, read a 500 page book (the entire thing), wrote a letter or two, spent hours on the internet, and stared at the wall. I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it until friday....

and what's with no yamaguchi bloggers writing? are you all away? are you ALL allowed to not come in to the BOE during school vacation? I'm very jealous to say the least.

Do they have no shame?

I just came back from a very interesting enkai. Today my taiko group played at Tokusa Shogakko’s closing ceremony festivities and it went really well (more in another entry). Afterwards we all gathered for a nabe party and it was just like it always is until everyone got drunk and things started coming out.

We have a new member in our taiko group. Chiharu is a university student in Yamaguchi and she is very cute. Throughout the enkai Wataru kept trying to get her to say that she likes him the best.

Note: Wataru is my friend who used to try and get with me all the time and I thought that we had gotten past that, but today proved otherwise.
Note: he just got divorced from his wife who lives in Tokyo
Note: he learned most of the English he knows from listening to American music

Anyways, every time he pressured her to answer which member she liked the best (him) I kept trying to save her from that question and he kept telling me to keep quiet. He then turned the question on me and in my non-wonderful Japanese I just replied: Ano shitsumon ga kirai nandesu (I hate that question) I tried to explain that I like all my friends and I don’t like to order them.
He continued to flirt with her throughout which I found a little disturbing but who am I to interfere…

Later on when he and most of the other people were very drunk he went on to say that he plans to get married this year and have another child next year. I was a little shocked and asked, “Isn’t that a little fast?” and he said why? to which I replied “You just got divorced!” I was told to shut up so I did.

At another point in the night after a conversation I didn’t understand, I asked him to explain and he secretly whispered that he has a crush on the 6th grade teachers in one of my schools and asked what I thought about her. I told him truthfully that I don’t really know her. (She always stays very quiet during my lessons)

Somehow the topic of conversation turned to me. He turned to me and said “I want you, I NEEEEEEEED you” (obviously straight out of a song) to which I replied I’m sorry. Then he asked me what was wrong with him and I told him he was my friend to which he replied NAZE? (Why?)

Now just to get a picture of the scene, him and I were sitting at a table with 7 other people who were all listening intently to our conversation and laughing along with his rejection.

The conversation got a little uncomfortable since Mi-chan kept trying to turn the conversation to sex which luckily everyone at the table ignored and I decided to go to the bathroom. I later found out when I drove Chiharu back to Yamaguchi that while I was in the bathroom he went on to everyone about how I will only be here a little while longer, and sono onna no ko ga HOSHI HOSHI HOSHI (want want want).
When I came back he told me “I’m hungry like the wolf”. I rolled my eyes a little bit more and did a little more rejecting before I convinced Chiharu that it was time to go and I left.

Everyone knows that he wants me and although I think they might have thought otherwise, today it was made clear that I don’t want him. I can’t imagine how embarrassing it must have been for him to have that conversation in front of all his friends, but apparently J-boys (or in this case, J-35 year old men) have no shame.

Elementary School Graduation

Today was elementary school graduation. One of my 5 elementary schools, Kameyama Shogakko, is closing this year due to the small number of students and that means that in order for the kids to start at their new school, Tokusa Shogakko as we know it is also closing and then in a few weeks opening up as a brand new Tokusa Shogakko with kids from Kameyama and the old Tokusa. I would have liked to go to Kameyama’s graduation today, but I don’t get to choose these things so I found myself at Tokusa Shogakko.

Graduation in Japan is a sad thing (as I mentioned last week after Jr. High Graduation). Sure, the greeting you use is おめでとう, congratulations, but everyone has sad faces on and it is very solemn. There are a few things about today’s graduation that although I find quite normal now, it occurred to me that to someone back home, would seem very strange. They are as follows:

- It is totally acceptable to read a speech without looking up or addressing your audience at all. Most of the adults who gave speeches today bowed to the flag, bowed to the teachers, bowed to the students, then took a piece of paper out of their pocket and didn’t look up again. Most of them even held their head at such an angle that you couldn’t see their mouths. This really gets to me, but it is a cultural difference that I have gotten used to (except in English class when I usually physically grab the students head or put my face under theirs). When someone gives a speech in Japan, you are not required to look at them so I guess it doesn’t really matter if they look at you either.

- All the non-graduating students were sitting quietly in perfectly straight lines from about 10 minutes before the graduation until it ended. I was sitting facing the 1st graders and I was utterly amazed. I myself had trouble keeping still and staying focused through this boring, solemn ceremony, but the 1st graders were great! And even the retarded 2nd grader who is constantly jumping on me and hugging managed to stay quiet and in his seat. There is no doubt about it, American kids could not have done that.

- There was one mother of a graduate who had green hair. Picture a smartly dressed middle aged woman with instead of a bit of grey in the front, a bit of green. She had a middle aged haircut and a middle aged suit and middle aged makeup, but green hair...weird.

- In Japan big ceremonies are usually held in the unheated gym. Today was relatively warm compared to last week’s graduation, but you could definitely tell it was cold because by the end of the ceremony, the sniffles and coughs had increased from about 1 a minute to a chorus of sniffles. I myself wore kairo (a heat pack) and it actually kept me pretty warm!

- At the end of the ceremony when the 6th graders walked out, they played the song they usually play at the end of sports movies...I can’t remember the name of it, but you know what I’m talking about.

- After the 6th graders had left, the Principal addressed the parents while openly crying. In Japan, there is not the same stigma about men crying so you see it a lot more.

So that's it. It wasn't as sad as Jr. High graduation because all of these kids will be going to the same Jr. High School, but some of the underclassmen were crying to see them go. After the graduation I ate lunch with the 6th graders and their parents and I really felt like a teacher. It has been a good day.

Elementary School Graduation

Today was elementary school graduation. One of my 5 elementary schools, Kameyama Shogakko, is closing this year due to the small number of students and that means that in order for the kids to start at their new school, Tokusa Shogakko as we know it is also closing and then in a few weeks opening up as a brand new Tokusa Shogakko with kids from Kameyama and the old Tokusa. I would have liked to go to Kameyama’s graduation today, but I don’t get to choose these things so I found myself at Tokusa Shogakko.

Graduation in Japan is a sad thing (as I mentioned last week after Jr. High Graduation). Sure, the greeting you use is おめでとう, congratulations, but everyone has sad faces on and it is very solemn. There are a few things about today’s graduation that although I find quite normal now, it occurred to me that to someone back home, would seem very strange. They are as follows:

- It is totally acceptable to read a speech without looking up or addressing your audience at all. Most of the adults who gave speeches today bowed to the flag, bowed to the teachers, bowed to the students, then took a piece of paper out of their pocket and didn’t look up again. Most of them even held their head at such an angle that you couldn’t see their mouths. This really gets to me, but it is a cultural difference that I have gotten used to (except in English class when I usually physically grab the students head or put my face under theirs). When someone gives a speech in Japan, you are not required to look at them so I guess it doesn’t really matter if they look at you either.

- All the non-graduating students were sitting quietly in perfectly straight lines from about 10 minutes before the graduation until it ended. I was sitting facing the 1st graders and I was utterly amazed. I myself had trouble keeping still and staying focused through this boring, solemn ceremony, but the 1st graders were great! And even the retarded 2nd grader who is constantly jumping on me and hugging managed to stay quiet and in his seat. There is no doubt about it, American kids could not have done that.

- There was one mother of a graduate who had green hair. Picture a smartly dressed middle aged woman with instead of a bit of grey in the front, a bit of green. She had a middle aged haircut and a middle aged suit and middle aged makeup, but green hair...weird.

- In Japan big ceremonies are usually held in the unheated gym. Today was relatively warm compared to last week’s graduation, but you could definitely tell it was cold because by the end of the ceremony, the sniffles and coughs had increased from about 1 a minute to a chorus of sniffles. I myself wore kairo (a heat pack) and it actually kept me pretty warm!

- At the end of the ceremony when the 6th graders walked out, they played the song they usually play at the end of sports movies...I can’t remember the name of it, but you know what I’m talking about.

- After the 6th graders had left, the Principal addressed the parents while openly crying. In Japan, there is not the same stigma about men crying so you see it a lot more.

So that's it. It wasn't as sad as Jr. High graduation because all of these kids will be going to the same Jr. High School, but some of the underclassmen were crying to see them go. After the graduation I ate lunch with the 6th graders and their parents and I really felt like a teacher. It has been a good day.

6 weird facts about me (tagged by Cindi)

1. I used to think I was from mars and that the race of my people was marzanian
2. I had millions of little rocks when I was younger that I had drawn faces on and named
3. I want to be a vampire
4. I love contra-dancing (a form of line dancing)
5. I love eels
6. I used to wear gold sparkled Dr. Martins and once got in trouble for wearing them to my band concert because I sat first chair clarinet and they had a disco ball effect on the whole auditorium.

Six people I'm tagging
1. Sarah Katz
2. Krissy
3. Sarah M.
4. Megan
5. Pauline
6. Emiko

okay, I lied

I haven't put up pictures yet from graduation....and I can't put up pictures to go with this post either because I'm stuck at the BOE all day today and can't do it from here.

I had a great weekend. Went down to Iwakuni to hang with the boys down there and do TNG marathon part II. Saturday we took a break from watching while Sean went to flowers and Pat, Marko and I went to an AWESOME amusment park-type-place on the top of a mountain in Wacky town (actually Waki). It sure was wacky! We got to ride a ferris wheel and climb in and on big dinosaurs and the BEST part about the park was a really really long roller slide. For those of you that have never seen a roller slide, it is made out of many cylindrical rods that spin when you slide down it. At this place, to rent a piece of cardboard with a handle cost 300 yen (about $2.50) and then you could play for hours climbing up the mountain and sliding down this super-long slide. It was a beautiful spring day and we played outside all day and it felt GREAT. We were definately the only adults there playing on the slide without little children in tow :)

Now I am back in Ato and it is a blizzard. What happened to spring? I know it will be here soon so I'm not bothered by the snow today. It is nice to see my mountains in their white winter beauty once again.

As for the marathon, it was not quite as intense as the last one. Last time we finished season 1 and this time we only watched 4 of the 7 DVDs of season 2. Sean lent me Deep Space 9 and I'm a little worried I will get addicted... I saw the first episode last night and I must admit, it was awesome.

I just finished two relatively hard to read books and I'm taking a vacation. I am now starting on my pile of not so intellectual books that I want to finish before leaving here. Currently I am reading Out, by Natsuo Kirino. My whole life is a collection of stories these days.

Sad

We just finished Jr. High School graduation at Ato Chu and I must admit, the tears have my 3rd graders have rubbed off on me and I am sad. Graduation in America is a happy event, but here, it means separating from your friends and everything you know and moving on to big scary high school all alone so it is not. Boys and girls alike cry and cry.
The ceremony itself was pretty standard. Freezing, but standard. The afterwards was nice. I took pictures with my kids and everyone was exchaging buttons and letters (boys give their second button to the girl they like). I will post pictures later, but right now I am sad to say goodbye to my best class- the ones who really welcomed me into Ato-cho when I got here. I hope to run into Okino and Non-chan and Megumu and others on the train and in the supermarket.

Time

Time sure is going quickly these days. Sure, sitting in the office it doesn't feel that way, but when you look at a calander it is surprising. I can't believe that February is almost gone. March is upon us and that marks one year since my mother and sister visited. One whole year! When I was a child I remember one year being endless. Now they seem to fly by. I can hardly believe that soon I will have lived two entire years of my life in Ato-cho, Japan.
This spring break I don't have much vacation time left, but I'm going to try and weasal a week of vacation out of it. Then golden week is in may. What to do, what to do? These will be the last two vacations I can justify taking for a while (since once I leave here I will not be making any money) and I want to make them great. I just don't have the energy to plan them. I know, I know, I have to get my act together, but it is such a pain.
This weekend I am going on my taiko group's annual ski trip. We are staying overnight at a minshuku and it only costs 4000 for the room plus dinner plus breakfast! I don't know if I have two full days of snowboarding in me, but I'm going to try since it is the last time this season. I am ready for spring and apparently the trees are too- if you look closely you can see the beginnings of buds. Happy almost March everyone!

it's amazing

how dirty a red down vest can get after wearing it every day for 4 or 5 months.

Sapporo Yuki Matsuri

The weekend before last I took a mini-vacation to visit my best friend in Japan, Dave, and see the world famous Sapporo Snow Festival. I met Dave at JFK airport flying out to Japan in the summer of ’04. (He claims we met at pre-departure orientation, but I don’t remember that.) We were thick as thieves throughout Tokyo orientation and then we boarded our planes to opposite sides of the country and didn’t see each other until now. Since we have talked on the phone pretty regularly, it wasn’t odd hanging out with him after an 18-month hiatus, but it was odd putting a face on his voice. I have never before had the experience of being very good friends with a faceless person (or practically faceless) and then meeting them again. This is Dave:



Since my flight was Friday at 8am out of Fukuoka, I went down on Thursday night, had dinner with Malik, and slept in my first capsule hotel. A capsule hotel for all you readers not in Japan, is a cheap hotel where you basically pay for a bunk and a locker to put your stuff in. Although it was a little difficult to get all your stuff organized, I absolutely loved it and would stay in one again. It was very private and very sci-fi. (Exactly what I imaged those capsules to be like in neuromancer). This is a picture of my capsule:






Friday I was in Sapporo by 11 and Dave and I spent the day walking around, eating ramen (braised miso….mmm!), and setting up a party for a bunch of people from around Japan who had come for the HAJET tour. In the evening I met Dave’s girlfriend Kim and was relieved to find how well we got along. Here we are singing some karaoke together:






Saturday we spent the day walking around the snow festival. It was very cold, but I wore a lot of clothes (about the same I wear for a normal elementary school classroom) and we spent the whole day outside. Every sculpture was more exciting than the next and it was fun just hanging around with Dave and Kim. In the afternoon Kim got very cold so she went shopping and Dave and I continued a bit on our own only to find that the bus to sato-land (the other section of the snow festival) was finished for the day.











We met up with Kim and did some shopping. Dave helped me pick out a really great butt-pack. Note: If you don’t live in Japan, you’ll think I’m crazy for wanting one of these, but here, they are really cool and I can even fit my hat in this one along with all my stuff!

Saturday night was a really big enkai that HAJET had organized. It was at the Kirin Beer garden and we ate what is referred to in katakana as jengis khan. Basically, this is lamb yaki-niku (grill your own in the center of your table). It was really good, but since we were late I only got a few bites. I met a whole bunch of Dave’s Hokkaido friends and even a pen pal of mine from way back in the beginning of my time here. We ate, we drank, and then we went dancing. It was a very fun night.




Sunday we woke up as late as possible, which wasn’t very late and all three of us dragged our hung over selves to the station to get something to eat. Kim went to visit a friend and Dave and I took the train to Otaru, a beautiful little city east of Sapporo that is famous for glass. There was even more snow in Otaru and we walked around looking at crab













eating crabs















and blowing glass





















At night, Otaru around this time is famous for what it refers to as “The gleaming”, thousands of little candles put in the snow.















It was beautiful and I am very glad that we spent the day bumming around Otaru. On our way back to the train, we had a few snow fights and missed the turn, but we finally asked a group of young guys clearing snow off their roof and they helped us out.

We came back to Sapporo Sunday night, met up with Kim, and ate delicious Indian food for dinner. Dave left at 5:30 Monday morning to catch a flight to the returner’s conference and I couldn't get to bed after he woke me up so I got up and left the hotel around 7. Monday I spent the morning going to the Sapporo Beer Museum with Emiko’s friend from college, Geoff. It was rather odd hanging out with a total stranger, but we both knew it was better than touring alone so we didn’t let it get to us. My plane left Sapporo at 3:05 and I was in my house by 8:30 - not too bad considering I had to take a plane, a subway, a shinkansen, and drive an hour and a half. These are some pictures from the Beer Factory:















It was an awesome weekend and I would highly recommend getting up the snow festival if you have the time next year. If you'd like to see more pictures, click on the pictures link on the right side of my page.

winter blues

you know, I find it rather amazing, but i seem to have dug myself out of my winter blues (or whatever it was) in just one week and change. I spent the weekend mopeing around my house and then snowboarding and although upon waking up on sunday the last thing i wanted to do was go snowboarding, I had a great time and got out and about.
Today was a rather productive day. I made my valentines, did my laundry, washed my dishes, read a lot of my book, and made it to juntendo (where i've been trying to get to for weeks). Yes, it's true I did all this by sneaking out of work at 2:30, but I am a better alt because of it, I guarantee you. The more you force me to sit at my freezing cold desk doing nothing, the more I resent my job, and the less work I do when I actually do work. So there. I did plan tomorrow and the next day's lessons at work and so I feel justified in sneaking out. (although I know it's not completely ethical)
It snowed heavily all day, but it was very wet snow so only about a half an inch actually accumulated (on top of about an inch of water in some places). It was beautiful, but I'm sad there isn't more to show for it. Maybe it'll snow when I am in hokkaido this weekend and I can come back to the Ato I know and love from last winter.

i stayed in tonight

and today, to continue my mopeing around and also to try and get rid of this cold that is threatening to get worse. I slept until 2:30. not straight, but that was the time i finally decided to stop staring at my ceiling and get up. I made lentil soup and read my book and watched a movie and didn't leave the house but once to get onions.
and shockingly enough,
it was a good day.
I guess the winter blues are a type of lonliness blues here in inaka. I have friends, but they all have families and in order to see my friends who don't have families i have to drive hours and hours and i'm too depressed to make myself do that. But that will end this weekend when I head off to Hokkaido to see dave and the snow festival. Since I'm leaving friday and coming home monday i get two weeks of 4 day weeks and in a month of no vacations, that really makes it go faster. Spring is just around the corner, but I wish it would snow, really snow, once more.
Last night while it was snowing, my blues lifted for a few hours. I think I definately need to move to a snowier place after this.

This is the longest week ever.

I have been pretty depressed lately and I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting out of bed in the morning and making into bed before 2am. This is why I haven’t posted anything about my last weekend. I will get around to it, I just haven’t yet.

On another note, Happy Groundhog Day everyone!

Sarah tagged me :)

4 Jobs I've had in My Life
Babysitter
Soldering Lab Monitor
Camp Counselor
English Teacher

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over Again
Willow
Sleeping Beauty
Harold and Maude
Monsoon Wedding

4 Places I Have Lived
Port Washington, NY
Chinatown, NYC
East Village, NYC
Ato-cho, Japan

4 TV Shows I Love To Watch
Six Feet Under
Animaniacs
Fairly Oddparents
Sex and the City

4 Websites I visit daily
Blogs
postsecret (weekly)
.mac mail
google

4 Places I have been on Vacation
Scottsdale, AZ
Greece
Portland, OR
Kyoto

4 Favourite Foods
Lobster
Raspberries
Toasted Bagel with creme cheese and caviar
red/orange/yellow peppers

4 Places I would rather be
on a sailboat
on an adventure
in a hammock reading a book
on another planet

4 Bands I Can Listen to over and over again
NIN
Nirvana
Otis Redding
Beach Boys

4 People I am Tagging
Sarah Katz
Krissy
Ginny
Alex, Yamaguchi

excerpts

These are excerpts from a journal assignment to write about Jr. High School memories:

- Dear Victoria,
I have a lot of memories of junior high school days. School trip is the best memory. We went to Okinawa on a school trip.
First Day
I road in a plane for the first time. I was a little frightening but it was very interesting! Okinawa was very sultry! We saw a Himeyuri-no-to. The Himeyuri-no-to made me sad.
Second Day
We saw a Shurijyo. It was very very flamboyant and beautiful. I was very impressed with it. In the afternoon we experienced cook a Okinawa food. I was a poor cook so it was difficult to cook. Okinawa food was delicious.
Third Day
We swam in the sea. The Okinawa sea was very beautiful. My favorite was Okinawa sea! We rode a "banana boat" and a "jet ski". It was very very very exciting!!! I had a good time.
School trip was very enjoy! I:ll never forget this trip.

- Dear Victoria,
When I was one grade, I lived a happy go lucky life. But when I was two grade, the Ato Junior High School and the Ikumo Junior High School merged. So I thought that I could'nt live a happy go lucky life. I had some friends soon. What I was thee grade, my life was very busy. Because we must do examination. So I mustn't live a happy go lucky life again.
But the school festival and the sports day became the greatest memory.

-Dear Victoria,
My best memory in school trip. I especially rode the banana bate. Banana bote is very fast and very cute!!! I think it is 21st century very important. And we went to Shurijho. Shurijho is very gorgeous and we went to Himerurinotoh. Himerurinotoh is very sad. Himerurinotoh is war a field. I think don't war!!!

decision time

As many of you know, the recontracting form is due very soon and it is causing many a JET to worry anxiously into the night chainsmoking, blearyeyed, making lists. Well, this year, I am not the wreck I was last year, but it is still not an easy decision to make.

Last year I was on the fence. I was so on the fence I went back and forth every hour and almost every minute of every day. This year the decision has not been as diffiuclt. I have lived through an entire year here and I know what a year brings. I know that next year, if I stay, will not be very different from this year.

Yes, I could stay, and be content. I have a life here. I have a group of friends who I play taiko with and a whole bunch of ojisans who look after me like I was one of their children. I enjoy sitting alone and reading and having a nice quiet house in a beautiful mountainous town. I love my kids, especially my elementary kids. I love that they are used to me now and not so shy and I love it when they use strange english to try and communicate with me just because they want to. (i'm not so sure about Ato Higashi's Jr. High kids though...see today's earlier post) I do love speaking another language all the time. Yes, it is hard sometimes, but I feel like I always have to be on my toes, and on the flip side it is easy to drown out other people's conversations around me.

I don't have much to be running home to and so a part of me says, "stay, nothing will change", but I feel deep down that I need to move on.

But there is one thing I need to run home to. My Uncle Bill will be taking his boat down the intercoastal waterway this fall and when he mentioned he needed crew I jumped at the opportunity. Uncle Bill is my father's best friend and when I was small and my parents were in Boston for a bone marrow transplant, him and Aunt Carol became me and my sister's legal guardians. I love him like a father, but one you don't have to live with all the time :) My mom tells me that for the 20 years that him and my father talked about this trip, my dad had always wanted to go. I want to be there for me but also for my dad. I also want to study for the GRE's aboard where Uncle Bill, the smartest man I know, can answer any question I may have ;)

So you see, I have to go.

I have become too comfortable in this life and I'm ready for a new adventure. After the boat, maybe Israel? Maybe NZ? Maybe South America? And maybe I'll figure out what I want to do and actually move somewhere with a comittment to stay (this is the ultimate goal isn't it?)

So there you have it. I'm not recontracting.

I'm sure you're now grinning mom :b

anger management

I just had a class of 30 15-year-olds who refused to give me anything. They wouldn't nod or shake when I asked a question, half of them wouldn't look at me, and when I turned into angry teacher because of this and made them each write down ONE sentence about anything regarding a video I showed them of New Year's Eve in NYC half of them didn't write one and would just sit staring at their paper until I gave up and moved on. I HATE that they can get away with this. When I was growing up, we were forced to write reaction papers and engage in discussion and I must admit, I didn't love it at times, but it enabled me to get over my inhibitions. Silent paper stareing Jr. high kids really know how to ruin my day.

white again

After a week of brown and wet while all the snow melted, it is now once again white. Waking up to snow when it was completely unexpected (according to mapion weather ato was supposed to have sun sun sun for the next week) was such a great feeling. It reminded me of when I was a kid and had no idea what the weather report said. The white fluff covering everything brings me a peace of mind. It feels as if a clamp of anxiety that has been travelling with me the past week has just been lifted.
Plans for my trip to Sapporo for the snow festival are finalized and I am looking forward to a little vacation coming up. My friend Dave up there organized everything except the plane ticket so it will be nice to relax and let things happen.
Speaking of snow though, I really want to go snowboarding this weekend....anyone interested?

Home

Home, home, what can I say...it was weird, but also kind of great, with a splash of fatigue and a dash of regret.

I went home on December 22nd for the holidays (and being a Unitarian, I pretty much mean all of them: Christmas, Winter Solstice [although I missed it], Hanukkah, Kwanza [I’m kidding about this one], and New Years)

I woke up on the 22nd after a whole week of snow to find that it was, surprise surprise, still snowing. Only this time, it was snowing all over Japan and not just Ato reeking havoc left and right. My first train to shin-yamaguchi was just a touch late but I was not worried because I still managed to catch the earlier shinkansen. I fell asleep on the shink and when I got on the LOOOOONG line to buy my ticket for the train from shin-osaka to the airport I realized that the train had taken a whole hour longer than expected and I was nearing the danger zone. The line creeped along and I made friends with an auzzie also stressing about her flight. When we ran down the stairs to our train time was very slim and we cut the line. I’m not saying I feel good about it, but it’s what I had to do. A not-so-very-nice gaijin male proceeded to give us a guilt trip about how there were many people waiting for the train and we had just cut them. It worked. I then proceeded to stand next to him in the space between cars for the next hour as we creeped along to the airport. I felt awful and anxious. When I got to the airport I broke into a run. I gathered my suitcase and proceeded to the counter where I was stuck with yet another line. At this point (not even through security) I had about 30 minutes till takeoff. I don’t know how it happened, but I made it on the plane. To add to my anxiety, I was flying to Newark and as far as I knew, there was still a transit strike going on in NYC. I had no idea how Anne was going to pick me up, but I had faith and didn’t let it bother me too much and low and behold, she was there waiting as soon as I got out of the gate.

I don’t know why I ever thought I would have down time on this trip home because it was not that kind of trip. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun and busy and crazy, but in no way relaxing. That first week was a whirlwind of family, old friends, Christmas, Hanukkah, dentist, and eye doctor. Every morning I was waking up early and every night I was staying up late. To top it off, something compelled me to join my neighbor’s gym for a free week and go with her at 6am before she went to work. My mother caught a cold shortly after I arrived and of course she blamed it all on me. I didn’t really mind too much that she was constantly moaning about “VICTORIA’S cold” because it meant that she took 4 sick days and I actually got to see her. My neighbor Nancy was constantly popping in and the phone never stopped ringing (mostly for my mom) and it felt great to be back in a family house again. Although it was hard not having a room or any privacy, it was great. I love how Nancy and my mom’s other friends have no reserve about just popping over and that they do so often enough that they feel comfortable helping themselves to whatever they want.

I went to Lennon’s twice, the bar in my town where all my HS friends hang out when they are home, and that was enough. It was pretty crazy and weird, but twice was enough. I bumped into a really quiet guy from my Bio class freshmen year, and Tom, an old friend who has moved far away. I also saw George and we managed to mend the fight we were in the middle of. To the friends I had penciled in before leaving Japan: Rosey, Viv, Sarah, Jamie and Eleanor, Amanda, Krissy, and Eugene: It was really great to see you all! To everyone else I managed to see along the way: I’m so glad we were able to catch up.

One regret I do have is that I only got to see the Shubert’s (the family I grew up babysitting for) for one day. Back when I lived in Port I would see them very often and even when I lived in the city I still went by there a few times a month. It is hard not seeing them all the time, but I really could only give each person one day. I miss the times I would hang out at their house all day and all night, but I’m sure I will have more of those once I get back.

I guess this describes how I felt a lot of the time when I was home. As Sarah so eloquently put in her blog “I have seen friends and family. Mainly once each. You give people a taste of you and they want more and more. Sometimes they get mad at you if you can’t be with them all the time. Most of the time I feel like a disappointment.”

Over the course of the two weeks I was home, I felt like this quite a few times. I felt like a bad friend. I had some very memorable times, but I also had some times that I regret...times when someone hailed a taxi and I had to get in and not say goodbye to the rest, times when I was just too tired to listen intently to a friend’s description of her work. I did get to spend a few days with my sister, but I wish there had been more. I am content with the time I spent with my mom. We speak to each other fairly often while I’m in Japan (okay, embarrassingly often), and being home felt like it hadn’t been that long. (And if you count the 9 jetlagged numb days of the funeral, I guess it wasn’t that long). We got to cuddle and we got to fight and we even got to stay up till 2am the night before I left while she taught me how to do a double crochet and find some wool for me giggling all the while.

I also had a very relaxing day with Viv food shopping and cooking a 4 course meal chatting like the old friends we are the whole while, sans awkwardness.
It was really great seeing Jamie and Eleanor (past Yamaguchi JETs) in NY. We walked around doing New Yorky things like Rockefeller Center, Cheesecake and Egg-creams and met up with Ann (another past yamaguchian) at the revolving bar at the top of the Marriot in Times Square. They are doing really well and it made me so happy to see that. That night we went to a friend’s show (The Midnight Show) at the Mercury Lounge and had a really great time. It was great to see some live music, especially played by some old friends, and catch up with others I hadn’t seen since leaving 18 months ago. In many ways, when I saw people it didn’t feel like I had been gone very long. The funeral gave me a taste of America so that this time it didn’t feel so foreign and thus it shocked me to see how long people’s hair had gotten/how tall Raychel and Jacob had grown/etc. because it really didn’t feel like I had been gone all that long. I remember everyone (not so much their current jobs or apt. location), but it feels as if a month or so had passed and not a year and a half. Speaking with Syd about this she said “Ummmm, no. You’re wrong. It has been a long time”. Perhaps because my real life is so extremely different the life back in NY feels as if it just paused while I was gone. Almost like a ripple in the fabric of my life to make Japan just a little bubble that you can glide right over and not notice on the surface. It will always be with me, but I don’t know how drastically being in Japan will change the course of my life. But then again, I have no idea where I will go from here, so maybe I will be a pleated skirt with many experiences always coming back to visit my mom in NY until one day I drag her away (or move back).

It was a good trip and I am still undecided about my recontracting decision. I thought that going back would hammer in the nail that is telling me it is time to leave, but it didn't. America is a strange place and I love being in such an international community here in Japan. Also I felt so small in America. I bought a jacket sized childrens 14-16. I went to a movie with my grandma and my legs dangled the whole time. It was not comfortable. Maybe I should buy some platform shoes.
I miss everyone back home and I look forward to seeing all you Yamaguchi people soon.
It is time to leave work and go home to dig my car out (before it snows again and I’m totally screwed) so I must stop here. Pictures to come soon.

last day of christmas at elementary school

grumpy

I'm sick. It happened yesterday around 3ish and has been getting progressively worse. I am going to be travelling for a total of 30 hours starting tomorrow at 8:10 and it is going to be hell. To top it off it is snowing like crazy and we're supposed to get a foot by tomorrow morning- if this screws things up I'm just going to break down and cry

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

It’s that time of year
- when wherever you go you hear songs about Santa
- when Tom Smith throws a wonderful party and you drive 3 hours to get there managing to get all you Christmas shopping done on the way
- when you go on a drunken snowy walk at 2am with your close friends singing all the way
- when you return to your town to find it covered in another foot of snow now reaching your thigh
- when the water in your dirty dishes freezes
- when the kamemushi are finally gone
- when you shovel daily just so you can make it out of your driveway

I had a wonderful time this weekend. Tom Smith, tokusagamine and tsuwano eki-den running star, threw a jolly Christmas party, which Ginny and I drove out to together. Since the blizzard was coming to Ato, I took a train to Yamaguchi and Ginny drove from there easing my mind about the return on Sunday. We managed to get some Christmas shopping in on the way there and on the way back and I am happy to say I am finished….almost. (Still a few more last minute airport presents to buy). We chatted away for hours in the car and it was really nice. I guess it was a treat since I’m usually driving hours alone with my music.

Tom’s town, Takibe was so sweet. It had that small town feel, but still had a bar and other places to keep us entertained. I really enjoy seeing Tom every time I get to and I am very glad I found him. I have a feeling we will know one another a long long time. The night was a “Festivus” party (invented by Seinfeld) and I must admit I hated the Festivus aspect. According to the episode of Seinfeld, you are supposed to speak your mind about the things that bug you about your friends. People really got into it and I zoned out in the corner of the table munching on raw horse. I don’t have problems with my friends and the people I do have problems with, I don’t become friends with so the problems don’t bother me. I honestly had no grievances to speak so I crossed my fingers and hoped nobody singled me out and it worked. When we moved to karaoke, luckily the festivus was forgotten and we were able to bring up the mood. Highlights included singing Blitzkrieg Bop with Marko, doing ten turns holding hand turns with Matt, a snowy late night snowball fight at a Shinto shrine, and lots of hugs from Tom. Hands down the best part of the night was when Marko, Tom, Ginny, and I took a walk in the snow to Lawson’s singing and sliding all the way.

I was a little bit nervous that the trains wouldn’t be running back to Tokusa, but they were and upon entering Ato I was greeted by much more snow than the dusting that covered Takibe’s streets. About a foot more. We got 40 more centimeters dumped on top of the foot and a half we already had! It is beautiful but I am very glad I’m done with my Christmas shopping so I can stay home all week packing and cleaning.

I can’t believe I am leaving in 4 days. I am not at all packed or ready to go back to America, but I guess I will have to get ready soon! It is also crazy to me that it is vacation already. I don’t feel that I have been working and need a vacation. Classes have been fun for the past few months due to Halloween and Christmas and it is so strange that I’m getting a vacation already…

Weekend Pictures

If you'd like to see more recent pictures, I am in the process of updating my picture page. Just click on the link on the right.

the blizzard is coming...

As the snow keeps falling (for days now) my neighborhood (and every road except route 9) have been getting progressively worse. I am slipping and sliding all over the place and actually had to get out and dig myself out twice today. Shovelling my driveway has now become a daily chore and I must say I'm a little apprehensive about leaving Ato tomorrow. Winds and snowfall are supposed to pick up tonight and tomorrow and fall straight through till Monday. What if I leave and can't get home? I am still going to go, but I am worried...

more snow!

I know it's ridiculous that all I talk about is the weather these days, but it really is the only exciting thing going on this week. While I was sleeping we got another 6 inches.....I sure am glad I shoveled the foot and a half last night because i was actually going to try and drive tonight....we'll see if that happens.

snow pictures

えらい！

I just spent the last hour and a half digging my car out of my driveway. Boy was that work! Now I have a whole night of nothing to look forward to....but oddly enough, I'm not too bothered by it. It feels good to sweat while standing in snow up to your knees :)

blogging

Sitting here at work on Wednesday knowing that most of Yamaguchi's fellow ALT's are home sleeping is proving to be very difficult. It is made even more difficult by the fact that nobody has blogged today (due to the fact that they are not sitting in front of computers at work like I am). I decided rather than feel sorry for myself though, I would start the trend and hopefully get someone to write something.

It has been a crazy last few days.
Saturday night was the Yamaguchi Christmas party which was a good time. Nothing too crazy, but definitely a good time.
Sunday morning I had to be at the kouminkan at 9am (a bit hung-over) for a full day of preparation for a big Taiko Concert that we were hosting. 9-10:30 we rehearsed and I kept screwing everything up (due to the hangover I think). I started getting pretty nervous when the other groups and the professional players came and rehearsed their stuff. At 4pm the concert started and I ganbarimashita-ed and it went really well. I screwed up a few times, but I don't think anyone noticed. At the enkai afterwards all my oji-san friends were complimenting me on how good I had gotten in just a year and a half. I must say I was very impressed with myself as well. Also, A-chan, the silly guy in my group said it looked great because I smiled while I played. Taiko always looks better when the players are smiling I think so I tried to do my part :)
I managed to get Sean and Tom invited to the enkai afterwards and it was really great. All my Japanese friends were very welcoming and I was so happy to finally share my oji-sans with other people.
We returned home from the enkai at around 1am and since it was Sean's birthday I had bought some cakes and candles and we sang Happy Birthday and Sean made a wish while we all sat around the kerosene heater. I was happy that Sean was at my house for his birthday.

Monday morning we woke up early and headed down to Ogori with my supervisor. The snow had started falling around 8am and the roads were bad so it took us over 2 hours to get there. Once we arrived, there was no snow and it was a beautiful warm day. Odd.
The conference was pretty uneventful - exactly the same as last year if you ask me.
I stayed the night in Seminar Park eating pocky and playing cards with Ginny and Sean and Patrick and I must say, it was one of the best nights I’ve had in months. I miss good clean fun with friends where there is no party and nothing to do. We all live so far apart that it seems that every time we get together it is some big thing. Staying in Seminar Park felt like a youth group sleepover and it was great!

Upon returning to Ato on Tuesday afternoon, we were once again greeted with snow (none in Yamaguchi still). While I was at the conference it had snowed about a foot! It stopped snowing in the evening, but when I woke up there were another 5 or 6 inches making my car a big white mountain which I don’t plan on digging out for a while since the roads are so bad. It has been snowing all day and I would estimate that it is around 2 feet right now. I am loving it, but stressing at the same time since I haven’t finished my Christmas shopping and now I really can’t. It’s going to be a long winter and it’s going to be lonely but I am still psyched for the snow. I wonder if when I get older I will stop looking at snow like a child looks at snow.....I just love it!

I found out that there is no snow in Tamagawa or Iwakuni. None at ALL! When I told my Japanese friend this she told me it was because Ato is Yamaguchi's Russia. Silly me, I was calling it Yamaguchi's Hokkaido, or Alaska....

odd

- I had 8 kids absent today... with the MUMPS! And in a school of 26, 8 is a significant number. We had a good time making cookies anyway though.

- I didn't strain my back or arms chopping wood on sunday, oddly enough I strained my thumbs. I kept picking up very wide pieces of wood with one hand to avoid putting down the ax, and my hands just aren't as big as my manly man friend's hands so the base of my thumb is killing me. It is a very strange place to feel sore.

I smell like christmas

I just got back to the BOE from my first elementary school christmas lessons and boy did it go well. Last year I did crafts, but since christmas in my house growing up was all about baking, I decided to make cutter cookies instead. It was a lot of work, but overall it was definately worth it.

I made the batter beforehand at home and brought in EVERYTHING (which was no easy feat considering I had to walk through a foot of snow with two heavy bags this morning). I brought everything from the cookie batter and sprinkles to the cookie sheet and cooling rack.

I started by pulling a santa hat out of my bag and showing everyone that we would be doing christmas today. I showed some pictures of christmas' growing up and explained the cookies for santa thing. Since it has just snowed here, I brought in some snow pics from NY as well to show how it snows there too. They were very impressed with our 5 foot snowman we made when I was about 8.
After pictures we headed down to the cooking room and made cookies while listening to christmas songs. While they were baking the kids played with the santa hat and reindeer ears I bought for a dollar at mr. max.

It was great fun and the kids all got a kick out of it. The 5th and 6th graders were very excited with the sprinkles from America (thank you Anne) and they made pretty impressive decorations. I had one kid make a beautiful jewish star with christmas tree sprinkles :) (Hanukkah cookie cutters as well as christmas just to make sure I confused them well) Another made a man shaped cookie and put each sprinkle on perfectly to make a face and suit. They all thought the cookies were delicious and even the teachers really got into it.

It was great and now I only have 2 hours to sit here before I can go home and make batter for tomorrow!

snow anyone?

Anyone else in Yamaguchi have snow today? Tokusagamine has 24 cm already and it's still coming!

snow

Yesterday was our big community Christmas decorating gig. Every year my taiko group and staff rents 3 very large cranes and we work from 8am till 5pm decorating the second largest Christmas tree in Japan and getting the community center ready for the “Christmas Night Festival” held on the 23rd of December (which I miss every year). I looked on my blog to see last year's entry about this, but apparently I was too drunk after the enkai to write last year so I don't have a very clear memory. Last year I remember being frustrated at being grouped with the womenfolk and being herded inside to do inside things. I also remember fighting my way to power tool and cutting bushes all afternoon trying to forget about the men/women relations in Japan. And the end enkai I remember everyone getting very drunk and having a great time. I also remember cold wet rain that fell on us all day long.

This year started much better. When I rolled out of bed at 7am the sky was clear and I had high hopes. Upon arriving, while helping get the two garbage can fires started, I made it known to Hiromi-san (a very dad-like ojisan) that I wanted to go up in a crane and help with the lights. I didn't just want to go up, but I wanted to HELP! This apparently is too much for the women who all told me they were too scared and were shocked when I came in after I had done it. In the mid-morning until lunchtime I helped with lights and the rain had started by then making the wind and rain at the top of the 2nd largest Christmas tree in Japan very cold and wet. We went in for lunch and I sat steaming by the fire for a while until I dried enough to not be cold.
After lunch I went back outside and helped with the fires a bit more and tried to make it clear that I would go up again, but it was not to be.

The rain turned to snow around 2pm and it lifted my mood (which had slightly turned to the men/women relations grumble). The men around the fire were cutting logs to make firewood and they were all standing around watching one guy use a chainsaw. I got the feeling that they were envious of him and that only HE knew how to use it so they were reluctant to try and embarrass themselves. Once the chainsaw cut the logs into small logs, they were splitting the wood with an ax and this was also a very manly thing. I was bored with the fire by then so I asked to try and boy, did I find my calling. I split wood for a long time and I really enjoyed the satisfaction of it. Hiromi-san started calling me ÉçÉbÉLÅ@ÉEÉ}Éì (Rocky woman) I didn't know if this was in relation to the movie or the mountains, but I don't really care. Wataru grabbed the ax from me for a while and wouldn't give it back. I swear, he is such a little boy sometimes. One of the other women had come out by then and she assumed her woman role by collecting the chopped wood and setting the next log on the chopping block for him. This irked me beyond belief. It was no wonder he could chop more wood than me when he never needed to bend down and pick anything up. Anyways, he finally gave it back and I went on chopping.

When the men had momentarily left the fire/wood area I decided to work on this woman/men relation thing and I asked Maki (the woman assistant) if she wanted to try. She said, oh, no, no no, she couldn't, but I talked her into it since nobody was watching. Although she was bad at first, she got the hang of it and really enjoyed herself. Later when men returned, she had the nerve to do it in front of them. I felt like I had accomplished one tiny step in the right direction.

The snow kept falling and around 4 it started sticking. When we finished the trees, they were dusted with snow. We went inside, organized ways to drop our cars off, and then I drove home very slowly in my new car with new snow tires (as of Friday). I was amazed at how much better this new heavier car handles in the snow and I look forward to lots of snowy driving this year (well, not really).

The enkai was delicious. We had horumon nabe and pasta and chicken salad and drinks of course. I usually hate horumon, but I try it every time just to make sure and this time, by pretending it was clams (because it has the same consistency) it was actually delicious. (For all you people back home, horumon is cow intestines….sounds gross I know, but we eat it fairly often here). I went home, took a bath, and went to bed and when I woke up this morning…

MORE SNOW!!! It's really winter and Christmas is coming just around the corner! I am so excited.